Solemn days.

(Photo taken a couple of years ago)

We came home early from holidays after an anxious week of calls to and from Mum and my brothers. They were with Dad at the hospital.
Almost every year he's hospitalized with his Chronic Lymphocytic Leukhemia. None of us knew if it was just another hospital visit that scared us silly - only for him to live again! He'd miraculously made it 16years when he was given 5 to live.

All holiday we were anxious. When do we go home? When should we go home? Should we go home?
Finally we got the call.

Mum, my brothers and Steve were all around Dad while he was taking his peaceful last breaths. Strong feelings of love, family, sorrow and finality were felt. We all anxiously watched, chatted about memories and life, holding onto his arm, or leg.

Even when you know it's coming - we've had 16 years notice - it's still an awfully heavy and deep shock.

When we left the hospital later that day, I somehow felt stronger, responsible. Such a magnificent man, such a wonderfully blessed existence we've all had sharing him and being loved by him. It's about time I reached my potential and was half the person he IS.

Regretfully life goes on. I remember his lessons, advice and impossible to comprehend empathy and charity for others. His awful but hilarious jokes, heart widening smiles and hugs, laughter that rings bells in my ears still today. The hundreds and thousands of people he has influenced, taught and re-directed along the way.

Such a magnificent legacy. I'm nothing but incredibly grateful that I was his one true little girl who was so loved by her Daddy. (Because there were so many more people that had a trusted friend and Father figure in him).

So now, time with Mum. I look forward to it every week and life is still just like this photo. We find evidence of his care for us all the time. Like he's still around and just wrote a note for us yesterday. xx

I love you Dad.  You're the BEST! xx

Bellingen, Nice while it lasted (just don't eat there!)

We put off our holiday to the mid-north coast because of Riley's arm. No fun going to Coffs and surrounds when he can't swim right??

Bellingen was nice. Quirky but nice.

The kids got an introduction to animals that they hadn't really had before. (They got in trouble of course for trying to get in the horse paddock)

  Dad loved the tire swing

Riley was brave enough to get covered in slobber by the pet sheep.. than was in dire need of a nail trim/hack.

Of course Dad found the special little locals.

Lucas loving his freedom in the paddock (it had to be supervised freedom! The owner was a little highly strung. Shame as we wanted to just run everywhere!)

We visited a butterfly farm nearby. The kids went through the maze, ditched me in the middle and ran back out again at speed.

Up the mountain. This is the pic where we've said for the MILLIONth time, "Please stay on the path". Then Lucas found a stinging tree (naturally Riley was the one that got the sting). Little monkeys.

 Beautiful falls. The day I didn't bring any swimmers - bummer!

The day Riley went through the window..

The day Riley went through the window..

They were both jumping on a mattress, deciding to rebound off the frame. Lucas broke a blind and Riley kamakazeed through the window.
The SOUND was SHOCKING!! Glass and squealing and the reaction of Lucas that could see the whole picture. I was stuck in the hallway - unable to go in - too scared!
Then out he ran yelling with his arm flapping open. We both freaked out and yelled for a good few seconds, then the headless chicken run for the phone. LUCKILY he hadn't hit an artery, otherwise I'd have been stuck there applying pressure and unable to find the phone!

Ambulance was on the way, pressure applied, Lucas did the best job ever at finding our shoes and essentials for the trip. Steve was even called on the job - phew!

Don't let the smiles fool you. It was Dad magic that managed that :)
Riley was anxious and freaking out. "Put a bandaid on it Mum!!!"

Lucas having the time of his life (he even helped push the bed) while Riley's starting to get really worried about how much this could hurt (more!)

 The next day he had his surgery. We were SO BLESSED to find out that he hadn't hit any nerves. Missed everything and just got the fatty tissue in his "chicken wing" part of the arm.

This whole fiasco had been blessed from beginning to end. Having Steve there, Steve being given time off work (and then on holidays), Riley not hitting an artery or nerves, then wonderful care and recovery.

 So since holidays were postponed (not fair to go to the beach if Riley can't swim), Steve took the boys camping. Exhausting for Steve. The kids were up late then up again at 5:30am and playing on the flying fox etc. 7am was breakfast (after a hike) and they were home, exhausted at 8:30am. So glad I slept at home!! haha

A week or so later the boys got out Farmor and Gramps' present to Lucas. They are now officially super heros!

End of Year Pre-school concert and b-day cont..

Riley in his reddest t-shirt (christmassy and also his fav colour)

Best mate James. They're both crazy, funny good boys :)

Friends on the slide - Riley having a sook about something..

Riley's birthday cake. bit of a last minute whack together, but Riley liked it.
I must say, it was the most relaxed and simple party. They had a great time and so did us grown ups! I admit... it's even a shop bought chocolate sponge under there!! I'd usually treat that as a complete failure of traditional motherly duties. Some things are just more important. Simple, happy fun and all about Riley.

 Riley and his pals on a big crane firetruck thing.

 suiting up

This little miss said to me, "What are we supposed to be doing?" EXACTLY! What is the point of climbing on trucks?! It's a boy thing.. but apparently they both look like they miss the point.

Oh they get it! Singing away as they drive.

The bushfire station was HEAPS better and next time we'll skip the fire and emergency and come straight here.

 Riley's cracking up in this pic below as he just hosed Steve in the head :) hahaha
Steve was taking pics just by that silver box on the side of the shed. (he's ducked down now)

Happy Birthday Riley!

On his birthday (yesterday) we went to Nanny and Grandad's for a treat. We haven't seen them in ages due to their ill health, so it was extra nice to see them.

Awesome pressie, yummy food, lovely day. x

Thanks!!xx

Little Entrepreneurs

My little  Entrepreneurs out on the drive way. Shame we face the bush otherwise they may have had some customers! They dragged the neighbour out - who bought herbs :)
"Garoj Sayol"

I said they could have a real one on Saturday if they liked. We could paint signs and stuff. First sign of work.. Lucas said no, Riley is up for it (usually the opposite!) though Lucas will most likely expect all the money. A manager in the making.

Riley found this cicada. Apart from the shiny gold one we found, this is the most different kind we've found so far. Check out the pink belly.

Riley helped me grate up one of the smaller (yes, smaller!) Zucchinis for our annual batch of piccalilli. A few months late, but we got there in the end :)

The fun continues...

Riley's happy as I let him have a whole box of eel sushi to himself! (What the?! When I was a kid it was chips!)

Having a good laugh with Santa - who was a jolly old fellow

 Last day at Jim Jam music class. They made "Noodles from scratch" like the book and the song.

"Smile Riley" ... the usual :) His first ever recorder as a gift for going to big school next year.

Continuing the theme.. We made more pasta from scratch. This time with Khorasan flour so I can eat it happily. I had roast pumpkin ravioli with (almost) burnt butter and sage. The boys just like it plain with cheese.
It's picnic on the kitchen floor time when the tables haven't been cleared!

The Danish church Christmas market - how did I miss this one for so long!!?!?

 BEST hot dogs. Yellow sausage (they were out of red), funny mayo stuff, mustard, ketchup, fried onions and pickles. YU-U-UM!

We skipped another Christmas party - too tired! Then off to our Church get together. It was fun with friends :)

 This is Riley at the photobooth corner. Dressed as a donkey (obviously) and eating the grass.